25 posts tagged “quizes”

Tickle quiz says... I'm divinely inspired when it comes to Culture.

Since you're open-minded, you probably enjoy moving from one crowd to another, with equal enthusiasm for all kinds of people. And your natural ability to create a friendly environment for everyone will serve you well wherever your journeys take you. Bon voyage!

I'm an Attentive Visionary  Keep reading for the juicy details. Jason's dna

About You: You are a Visionary

Your imagination, self-assuredness, and knowledge of the world combine to make you a VISIONARY.

You have clear notions of how things could be, and the confidence to try to make them that way.

You enjoy having a routine, and prefer comfort and familiarity to risk and adventure.

Not needing others' approval to forge ahead, you are confident in your designs for the future.

Your imagination allows you to envision the world as a better place.

You're better at thinking of the big picture than you are with details, and you can see wonder in abstract things.

Style and appearances are important to you, and you have a good eye for beauty.

You are somewhat rigid in your beliefs, which comes from both confidence and an aversion to change.

You are good at creating works of art in forms with which you're familiar.

If you want to be different:
Appreciate the earthly, functional elements of things.

Your clarity of vision sometimes prevents you from being open to new ideas. Try expanding your horizon of experiences, and experimenting with novel ways of doing things.

How You Relate to Others: You are Attentive

Because you like spending time with others, understand their feelings, and often know what is best for them, you are ATTENTIVE.

Some people are merely concerned about others, but you take action, helping people when you have the opportunity.

Although you care about others, you are hesitant to trust them to act in the best way on their own.

You don't let your concerns with people go unnoticed: if someone has hurt your feelings, that person will hear about it.

People energize and excite you—you love being in large groups and just having fun.

You also learn a lot about yourself by talking things out with others, even if you don't always share things that are important to you.

Although you are social by nature and are not hesitant to express yourself, you have a strong sense of right and wrong.

Understanding the dynamics of a situation is an important skill that you have, and you often intervene to clarify things for others.

If you want to be different:
You care about people, but finding the ones you can truly trust will allow you to get closer to them.

While you have strong opinions about what is right and wrong in the world, you risk coming across as judgmental—be sure to consider different perspectives when voicing your opinion.

Ticle.com says I am a Grounded Pragmatist when it comes to love matters.

In matters of the heart, you are less likely to rely on fireworks and fairy tales than good common sense. That's not to say you don't appreciate a great date when it presents itself, but you aren't one to wait with bated breath for it to happen.

We'd bet a go-getter like yourself prefers to take matters into your own hands, perhaps calling on friends to set up a few blind dates or signing up for an online dating service. For a practical person like you, love at first sight sometimes needs a proactive nudge. So what are you waiting for? Get out there!

People who are equally turned on by a person's personality and environmental factors are aroused by the emotional or intellectual connection with someone. However, that arousal is often heightened or lessened depending upon the situation or environment you are sharing with them.

People with a dismissing avoidant attachment style tend to be very independent and self-reliant. They can be attractive because they pose an intriguing challenge.

Hm. I feel I should mention that I have attachment issues because I was born 2 months premature and isolated in an incubator from my mother for most of those first two months in the world...

Attachment style begins in infancy with the interactions we have with our parents or primary caregivers. Through these early relationships we begin to understand the dynamics and patterns of close relationships and we carry this perspective into our adult relationships.

Psychologists call your attachment style Dismissing Avoidant.

You're not someone who is easy to get close to. You tend to keep people at a distance and in a romantic relationship you're not entirely comfortable with emotional intimacy or commitment. Potential partners may feel that you are a bit mysterious and are a challenge worth pursuing.

21% of those who have taken our test share this style of attachment.

Your answers on our test show that when it comes to relationships you have grown beyond your earliest attachment issues. While you may not have every issue resolved, you're making substantial progress at establishing healthy relationship patterns.

Principled, Purposeful, Self-Controlled, and Perfectionistic

Generally, Ones are conscientious, sensible, responsible, idealistic, ethical, serious, self-disciplined, orderly, and feel personally obligated to improve themselves and their world.

Ones get into conflicts by being opinionated, impatient, irritable, rigid, perfectionistic, critical (and self-critical), sarcastic, and judgmental.

At their best, Ones are tolerant, accepting, discerning, wise, humane, prudent, principled, fair, and able to delay rewards for a higher good.

In brief, Ones want to be right, to strive higher and improve everything, to be consistent with their ideals, to justify themselves, and to be beyond criticism so as not to be condemned by anyone. Ones do not want to be proven wrong, to make mistakes, to allow sloppiness, to be with people they perceive as lazy or not serious, to be in chaos or in situations that seem out of control, or to be embarrassed by emotional display.

Recognizing Ones

Type One exemplifies the desire to be good, to live up to the highest ethical standards, and to effect positive changes in the world. While a number of types care about achieving goals, Ones are particularly aware of how they achieve their goals. Were they honorable? Did they use their resources wisely? Were they fair and truthful? Ones are people of high standards and they expect themselves and others to live by those standards as much as possible. They tend to see things in terms of long-range objectives, and they can be aware of how current actions might affect future situations. For example, Ones are often in the forefront of battles to improve environmental standards or to make people aware of healthier lifestyle choices.

Most Ones report feeling a powerful sense of mission, a deep feeling of purpose that they remember from their early childhood. They sense that they are here for a reason and, unlike some other types, they have a fairly clear idea of what that reason is. This sense of mission impels Ones to rise to their highest standards, to make personal sacrifices, and to evaluate themselves regularly to see if they are falling short of their ideals. They feel that they must live a balanced, sensible life in order to have the clarity and inner resources necessary to fulfill their purpose.

Ones also have deep convictions about right and wrong, what is just and unjust. They are often dedicated to reform and social causes since they feel personally obligated to improve the world and leave it a better place. They put themselves on the line for their values and ethical convictions—if it means risking their jobs, their fortunes, or even their lives. Ones are convinced that there are indeed some truths—some values—that are worth both living and dying for. To accomplish their missions, Ones maintain self-discipline and do their best to practice "moderation in all things."

While Ones focus their attention on serious life issues, their high standards can also be directed to less significant matters—although they may seem equally important to Ones at the time. They can become extremely upset, for instance, if their spouse or one of their children fails to clean up after themselves adequately after using the bathroom sink. Ones are nothing if not thorough and well organized. Some Ones express this as an extraordinary concern with "neatness," the kind of people whose socks and underwear are folded neatly, whose file folders are labeled and filed alphabetically, and whose pencils are all sharpened. Other Ones focus their perfectionism in other areas, such as punctuality, ethical standards, political or religious ideals, office protocols, or uncovering misdeeds and untruths.

While Ones tend to see themselves as people of logic and reason, they are often driven by strong feelings and impulses—usually experienced as personal convictions. Because they so strongly feel that they must accomplish their life mission, they conclude that they must be serious and determined and must not waste time. They can become very strict with themselves, feeling they must always be working toward their ideals, "making progress," and pointing out how things could be improved. They are extremely conscientious about how they use their time and resources. Under pressure, time becomes a major interpersonal issue for Ones—they insist that they and others be punctual, efficient, and particular about details. They make lists, organize things, and constantly prioritize their activities. Their sense of obligation, however, can make them feel heavier and more burdened. Consequently, they begin to be afraid of making a mistake because they want everything to be consistent with their strict standards. At such times, others can perceive them as overly rigid and perfectionistic.

In brief, Ones want to be right, to strive higher and improve everything, to be consistent with their ideals, to justify themselves, and to be beyond criticism so as not to be condemned by anyone. Ones do not want to be proven wrong, to make mistakes, to allow sloppiness, to be with people they perceive as lazy or not serious, to be in chaos or in situations that seem out of control, or to be embarrassed by emotional display.

Their Hidden Side

Ones appear well balanced and sure of themselves, but they can suffer from extreme self-criticism, feeling that they are never able to measure up to their Olympian standards. Similarly, they can feel lonely and alienated from others, seeing themselves as the only responsible adult around. At such times they feel burdened by their responsibilities and by the sense that others will not do as thorough a job as they will. If these feelings intensify, Ones can become harsh with themselves and others, and prey to hidden depression. They may attempt to maintain an outer attitude of self-control and reserve while inwardly feeling anguished and alienated. As they become more isolated, their self-criticism can become more cruel and irrational. Few casual observers would suspect how much they are suffering from the relentless attacks of their Inner Critic (superego).

Relationship Issues

Ones take their relationships and all of their responsibilities in relationships very seriously. They are firmly committed to the people whom they love, and they are willing to make great personal sacrifices for the well-being of their intimates. As with other areas of life, Ones are idealistic and hold high standards for their relationships—it is important to them to have a partnership that is based on shared values and beliefs. When Ones get more stuck in their fixation, the following areas can create problems:
•    Holding the partner to strict standards that the partner does not wholeheartedly share.
•    Having difficulty finding a partner because of unrealistic standards—finding that no one "measures up."
•    Becoming moody, depressed, and uncommunicative because of repressed anger.
•    Not allowing enough "play time" in the relationship—feeling that all spare time must be used for serious purposes (yard work, checking finances, reading "educational" or "meaningful" books, attending meetings or lectures, discussing political issues, etc.).
•    Having issues with criticism: fearing criticism from their partner and also becoming critical of the partner—nitpicking, scolding, and correcting.

The Passion: Anger or Resentment

Feelings of obligation and of having higher standards than those around them leave Ones in a state of constant irritation with themselves, others, and the world. Nothing ever quite attains the ideal; nothing comes up to their exacting standards, leaving them feeling disappointed, frustrated, and resentful. But because such feelings conflict with their self-image of being rational and in control of themselves, they attempt to suppress their anger, unwittingly perpetuating it in the process. They become very inhibited, feeling that they must constantly hold their angry feelings and impulses in check. Ones may also hold their anger in their bodies, and they can become extremely tense and rigid with the effort to control themselves.

At Their Best

Healthy Ones are guided by their consciences and concerned with maintaining ethical standards, but they are also flexible and gentle about applying their principles—both with themselves and with others. They are truthful and reasonable—the kind of person others turn to for direction and clear feedback. They have a strong sense of morality, but they temper this with a deep love and respect for the dignity of their fellow human beings. They strive to be impartial, fair, and objective, and they are willing to sublimate their desires and immediate gratification for "the greater good," or a higher principle.
Healthy Ones are motivated to "do the right thing" themselves and are not necessarily trying to fix anyone else. Even so, their personal integrity allows them to teach others by example. They can be quite eloquent and effective at conveying the truth and wisdom of their perspective. They stand for quality and desire excellence in all things. Their commitment to the highest principles can be profoundly moving to others, reminding others of the values they most deeply cherish.
At their very best, high-functioning Ones embody true wisdom, especially in being able to discern appropriate and compassionate action. They radiate nobility and inspire others to remember to live according to the highest values. At the same time, they are gentle and humane: average Ones often feel disappointed with their fellow human beings, but healthy Ones feel a profound connection and kinship with everyone they encounter, giving them an abiding patience and affection for all humanity.

The Instincts In Brief

An explanation of the three Instincts can be found here, which opens in a new window.

Self-Preservation Ones: Self-Control (Ichazo's "Anxiety")

Self-Preservation Ones focus their resentment and perfectionism in areas of health, self-management, and homemaking. They are not necessarily worked up about the plight of refugees in the Third World but may have very firm convictions about proper diet and exercise or the best way to maintain one's household or family budget. Self-Pres Ones like to be organized, to have their life structured, and their possessions put in their proper place. They are neat, punctual, and fastidious—sometimes to a fault. They believe that controlling the "dirt" and chaos in their lives will enhance their well being, even their survival. It seems to them that a well-ordered life is the best hedge against chaos and danger, and they are concerned that any mistakes on their part could have dire consequences. Thus, they tend to be careful and meticulous in the planning of their lives. Many Self-Pres Ones also take an active interest in preventative health matters: vitamins, cleansing diets and fasts, exercise routines, alternative medicine, and cutting-edge medical knowledge.

Sexual Ones: Shared Standards (Ichazo's "Jealousy")

Sexual Ones focus their perfectionism on their intimate relationships, holding an ideal image of what a relationship should be like and measuring their intimates against this standard. For this reason, many Sexual Ones have difficulty finding a life partner that meets their criteria—there is always some characteristic in the potential mate that falls short of their expectations. They may also harbor expectations of creating a perfect family, but this must begin with finding a mate who understands and shares their passion for their mission. When Sexual Ones find a partner who they believe shares their values, they become extremely excited and highly protective of their relationship. They may also idealize the partner, constantly striving to feel worthy of the other's love. Nonetheless, anxieties about the partner's losing the shared values may cause Sexual Ones to become critical of the other. They want to remind the partner of the high standards that they both live by but they can create problems in the relationship by trying to keep the other "on track." Nonetheless, they are passionate about their intimates and devoted to keeping their relationships moving toward higher ground.

Social Ones: The Crusader (Ichazo's "Inadaptability")

Social Ones focus their perfectionism in the social realm; thus, they are interested in local and world affairs. What is going on with the school district? Has that new environmental legislation been passed? Why doesn't anyone care about the enormous problem of world hunger? Social Ones take these issues personally, and they devote their time and energy to bringing people's attention to social ills. In other words, they do not want merely to talk about problems, they want to get involved and take action. While they may work tirelessly for the causes that they care about, Social Ones may have trouble developing a personal life. They are not particularly interested in social ease, for themselves or for others; rather, they are concerned with finding the "right way" for people to conduct themselves with one another. When they are more identified with this attitude, they may feel that others do not know what is best for them. With regard to themselves, Social Ones feel that personal needs can be addressed only after more pressing social problems have been faced. This zeal can be hard on their families and intimates, but people are often amazed by the strength of the Social One's convictions and are grateful for the good work that they contribute to the community.

Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got. — Janis Joplin

As a Type 1, The Idealist, you're an individual who sees how good things truly can be. This sense of optimism and discerning nature has probably helped you develop quite a strong set of values. However for you, it's not simply a question of having high morals; it's about having predetermined standards for each aspect of your life and setting the bar high. More than most people, you not only appreciate it when the things and people around are the best that they can be — you expect them to be. In fact, attaining your ideals and surrounding yourself with others who do the same helps your life feel balanced and right. However at times, unrealistic expectations may cause you to work feverishly toward your goals, believing that you can always do better.

While you're busy achieving great things and making excellent impressions — as you're bound to — you may also have an over-active inner critic chattering away in your head. This voice likely monitors both your actions and those of the people around you — and none too kindly. It may also point out people's faults and inconsistencies of character. Chalk this negative self-talk up to your acute attention to detail and try to quiet it whenever possible. It is a good thing to have benchmarks that you can measure life by. At the same time, focusing on these criteria too closely can lead to disappointment when things don't measure up. By learning to harness the most positive aspects of your idealistic tendencies, you can learn to embrace others' differences and celebrate their successes. Know that you can accept people's weaknesses — even your own — without having to abandon your moral character or strong sense of values.

Like everyone, to some extent your personality has been shaped by past experiences. One reason you may identify with Idealists, Enneagram Type 1, is if you received any heavy criticism from authority figures during your childhood. If this is the case, your personality may have developed so that you try to "be good" to avoid being a disappointment or getting into trouble in the future. Another possibility is that as a child you may have been encouraged to take on the kinds of responsible roles usually held by adults. This kind of situation could have created an inner pressure to perform well, as well as an expectation that you should always be capable beyond your natural level. 

When you're feeling your best, you probably experience a sense of oneness with others and understand that, really, everything is perfect — or at least perfect enough — just the way it is. You may also become aware that although it normally seems that there is only one proper way to do things, there are actually many correct paths. At these times, you can sense that life isn't always about what's right and wrong. Sometimes it's just about appreciating what's different. In this positive and open state, you can realize your full potential.

However, you aren't likely to be at your best every day. During the times when you're feeling your worst, you may become angry or guilty about not having reached your own high standards. You may also grow to resent others' successes or to feel dissatisfied with the state of your own life. At times when you've started to give up on yourself, you may notice yourself becoming clumsy or careless. You may also make even more mistakes. In critiquing these errors, you create an even lower opinion of yourself. Know that this kind of downward spiral is caused by a belief that you must be "good," or even perfect, to be worthy of love. By possessing such a worldview, you can try endlessly to be correct and proper and endlessly fail because there is no such thing as complete and total perfection in life.

How can you avoid feeling your worst and start feeling your best? Above all, have compassion for yourself. Try to recognize when you're being overly critical and stop talking yourself down. When you recognize that the world isn't perfect and that you aren't either, you can breathe easier and accept yourself the way you are. It will also help you to practice acceptance and forgiveness of others. Finally, allow yourself time to relax and play. You'll likely discover that you can be happy and productive without always needing to steadfastly focus on your goals.

As a Type 1, The Idealist, your typical strategy when looking for love likely involves making yourself as worthy of love as possible. To do this, you can make continued efforts to meet your self-imposed standards regarding what is appealing and acceptable. In essence, you try to be as good as you can be. You want any date of yours to know what a prize they have discovered. You may attempt to do this through elaborate pre-date grooming rituals that help you look your very best. You may also focus conversation on your accomplishments and successes. At times, these methods will work like a charm. When they don't, you're likely to feel a bit rejected.

At times when you're feeling unloved, you might blame yourself for not being good enough or hold resentment against others for not seeing how lovable you are. In a move toward greater self-acceptance, try to regard yourself as a whole being, not someone divided into "good" and "bad" parts. Let yourself feel worthy of love, despite your perceived faults. Realize that not all goals in life will be met. Things often work out in ways you didn't anticipate. Sometimes the results are better, sometimes worse, but most often they're just different. Try to embrace all these possibilities, especially as you're looking for love.

When looking for a romantic partner using Enneagram types, consider how the types interact. The descriptions below give a general sense of how well each type matches yours. They also describe where the pleasure in these matches is likely to be manifested and identifies challenges you may face.

Pairing 1: Shared vision. An "Idealist / Idealist" relationship is marked by high ideals and a focus on shared relationship goals. The two of you can be at your best when you're living by your mutually valued standards and achieving your dreams together. However, tension can occur between the two of you when you possess opposing views of what is right.

Pairing 2: Save the world. An "Idealist / Humanitarian" relationship is marked by a shared desire to improve the lives of others. The two of you can be at your best when you're using your shared time and resources for the greater good. However, tension can occur between the two of you if you take your Humanitarian's helpful suggestions as personal criticisms. They may also have a tendency to interfere with your need for space and independence at times.

Pairing 3: Achievement. An "Idealist / Entertainer" relationship is marked by high levels of achievement as both types are focused on success. The two of you can be at your best when you're both achieving the goals you've set for yourselves and showing support for one other's endeavors. Tension in your relationship can result from your Entertainer's tendency to cut corners and your opposing tendency to be a stickler for details.

Pairing 4: Sense of purpose. An "Idealist / Expressive" relationship is marked by a real sense of purpose and connectedness. The two of you can be at your best when you're sharing your time and thoughts to relate on a deeply personal level. However, know that criticizing your Expressive too harshly when they don't seem to fit your need for perfection can create tension in your relationship.

Pairing 5: Self-reliance. An "Idealist / Experimenter" relationship is marked by self-reliance and rational agreements. The two of you can be at your best when you're both taking care of your own needs and steering clear of emotionally charged issues. Tension is likely to arise when either one of you makes negative judgments about the other's morals or intellect.

Pairing 6: Strong and serious. An "Idealist / Advocate" relationship is marked by a desire to build a strong and serious relationship together. The two of you can be at your best when you're focused on doing just that. However, your Advocate's tendency to skeptically question your beliefs or plans may create tension in your relationship — especially if they trigger your fear of being proven wrong.

Pairing 7: Reverse limits. An "Idealist / Adventurer" relationship is marked by each having different perspectives on limits, constraints, and correct action. The two of you can be at your best when you're enjoying one another's differences and both making space for each other's views. Tension is likely to result when your respect for rules and regulations clashes with your Adventurer's fervent disregard for them.

Pairing 8: Joined for justice. An "Idealist / Leader" relationship is marked by a joined quest for justice and fairness. The two of you can be at your best when you're both behaving in ways that the other finds helpful and just. Tension between the two of you can result if you lack spontaneity or your Leader feels the need to impose the "right" ways of doing things on you.

Pairing 9: Steady. An "Idealist / Negotiator" relationship is marked by dependability, steadiness, and a desire for a harmonious relationship. The two of you can be at your best when you're taking good care of one another and valuing the other's company. If tensions arise in your relationship, it can be due to inflexibility on your part. It can also be due to any feelings of inferiority your Negotiator has regarding you. 

When you reveal your true colors in love, you're a Connected Partner

You are the kind of jovial people-person who can brighten almost anyone's day. You take great enjoyment in having deep emotional attachments; that's true both in love, as well as with your friends and family. As a result, when it comes to romance, you're likely to seek out a partner you can feel completely bonded to and share your innermost thoughts with. Once you've found this special someone, you'll likely keep them happy with your caring nature and sometimes-goofy sense of humor.

You are the kind of jovial people-person who can brighten almost anyone's day. And if you have to be a little goofy to do it, you're often more than willing to go that extra mile. You find much of life's fulfillment in your strong relationships with others, so you'll usually do what you can to keep the people around you happy. Wealth, status, fame — these things are nice — but for you the real reward seems to come from being a good person. You have a stronger moral code than many others do, and you tend to be both honest and compassionate as a result.

Because of the high standards you set for yourself, there are times when you can become over-invested in others' opinions.

So if a friend or romantic partner offers you some constructive criticism, you may take it very personally and feel hurt. You may also jump to change yourself so that they will think better of you. Acting on criticism in this way can be a good thing. However, consider trying to moderate your response to others' views. Think first about who is offering the criticism, how they are asking you to change, and whether their suggestion fits who you really are. Otherwise, in your constant attempts to please others, you may lose your true self in the process.

Because of your outgoing nature, you may be one who develops crushes easily. However, finding your soul mate is likely a more elusive reward. At times when you're not in love, you'll most likely spend time daydreaming about future romance. In love, you likely seek out a partner you can feel completely bonded with. Types like you usually appreciate being with someone who can share your most personal inner thoughts. Your relationships are often founded on a deep emotional connection. So don't be surprised if you can guess a partner's mood just by looking at them. This level of intensity can be frightening for some people, but there are others who will want the same kind of closeness you do. In your search for a life partner, remember not to get too attached to anyone who doesn't share your relationship priorities.

Friendship can be another primary relationship need for connected partners. In fact, you may feel strongly that the best relationships are those that are built on a solid foundation of friendship. If this belief holds true for you, you likely prefer a "friends first" approach to dating, rather than jumping in with both feet. If something is going to last, you're apt to feel that there's no need to move too quickly. However, this doesn't imply that you aren't interested in the sexual side of romance. On the contrary, once your relationship matures, you can take as much pleasure satisfying this side of your nature as almost anyone out there.

When you're part of a couple, you often really enjoy being silly with your partner. Laughter can feel like a necessary ingredient to keep your relationship from getting too heavy. Indeed humor is an excellent tool; use it well and you can keep your love fresh and fun for a lifetime.

Whether you're new to the dating scene or a self-proclaimed expert, your perspective about dating will go a long way toward determining your ultimate success in finding the partner who's right for you. Just remember that no matter what your view of dating is today, you always have the power to change it if it isn't bringing you what you desire. Here's what your colors revealed about your present outlook:

With your cheerful, optimistic attitude, you probably won't be single any longer than you want to be. Although, these traits make you the kind of person who's happier and more comfortable going solo than many people are. However, that doesn't mean that you're not looking for someone to share your life with. In fact, that kind of deep emotional connection can be very important to you. Because you're a generally social person, it's likely that you have a healthy number of friends and acquaintances. Each one of these people offers you a higher chance of meeting new people to date. The more you get yourself out there, the more likely you are to find that special someone.

You may, however, find yourself in a bit of a rut when you venture out to find new people. At first, your love of routine and occasional resistance to change might keep you from reaching outside of your comfort zone. If you want to meet new people, you'll probably need to go new places, get involved in new activities, and seek out creative ways to meet singles. You might even want to try online dating. Trying these unfamiliar, sometimes adventurous, things can be a challenge, but think of the potential reward. Your dream date is not likely to simply drop into your lap one day, as much as you would like them to. Instead, you'll need to open yourself up to new possibilities to get out there and find them.

Once you find yourself as part of a couple, the way you and your new partner handle disagreements will become crucial to your relationship's long-term success. Realistically, you can't expect to avoid relationship problems entirely, so it's best understand whether or not the way you and your partner argue is compatible. This is something you'll usually be able to determine within the first three months of a relationship, and sometimes even sooner.

In your case, you tend to feel that it's important for both parties to feel heard in an argument. So if your partner yells at you, you're likely to try to calm things down so the two of you can have a more rational discussion. Sometimes, though, you may lose your temper and respond with a sarcastic or biting comment. For the most part, though, you try to decrease tension to have a good talk about each person's perspectives. This is one way you look to better yourself in relationships: by giving and receiving honest feedback. However, if your partner confronts you when you've done something wrong, you may try to change the subject rather than face the consequences. If that doesn't work, you'll make other attempts to displace the tension. It can be difficult for you to have open, honest conversations about your own faults. However, to have the kind of close relationship you want, those are just the kinds of talks it will be important to have. Growing in relationships sometimes requires us to humble ourselves from time to time. The rewards can be well worth it. So for your relationships to be the most satisfying that they can be, you would do best to find another person who's willing to have caring, open discussions even when things get tough.

The way a person ends their relationships is often a sign of both the maturity one gains through experience and the compassion one has for their romantic partners. Your colors showed that you can be a real pro when it comes to ending romances gracefully. At the close of a relationship, you're much more likely to make the effort to discuss your feelings with your ex, rather than leave them with questions about what went wrong. You're also one who'll typically offer support during this sad time by listening and letting your ex share their feelings with you. By ending romances this way, you ordinarily have the benefit of remain friends later if you choose to.

Now that you know what your color choices revealed about you in love, it's time to find out more about color itself.

The physical world is full of color. However, in its most scientific sense, color is simply a description of the way your eyes perceive an object as it interacts with light, and the way your brain interprets it. When you look at an object in the presence of light, you see the light reflected from that object. It is in this way that you're able to distinguish between hundreds of colors. Colors are wavelengths of light, recognized by sensory cones in the eye's retina. So recognizing color is actually one of the human body's many miraculous talents.

People communicate about colors through language — in this case, English. However, not all languages have the same kinds of color distinctions. For example, studies of the linguistic treatment of color have revealed that some languages do not make a distinction between green and blue or yellow and orange. Differences in color perceptions are not only blurry between different cultures; they can be problematic within cultures as well. Even if two people speak the same language, they can view color with different eyes. Imagine two people looking at a sunset: One sees more pink, the other sees more purple. It depends on their individual perceptions. However, even with this imprecision, there is a high agreement between people regarding basic color names and distinctions. It's this fact that makes a discussion of color possible.

While you may think of vision as the primary way that people experience color, people also "feel" color. In the presence of different colors, our physical bodies can feel different. And researchers can measure these effects by changes in blood pressure, eye blink frequency, heart rate, and respiration. Western scientists agree that colored light can be used in treating medical patients with certain conditions. For example, premature babies with jaundice are cured by a chemical reaction triggered by exposure to blue light for several days. It is also known that red light is more likely to produce epileptic seizures than blue light. Western science did not discover these reactions to colored light, though. It is actually the ancient cultures of Egypt, China, and India that have histories of healing with color.

Outside of our physical or sensory experience of color, we also have psychological or emotional responses to colors. The most universal psychological responses to colors divide the color spectrum into "warm" and "cool" colors. Warm colors include red, orange, and yellow. They are believed to be stimulating or energizing (which are active or externally-driven responses). Cool colors include blue, green, and purple and are felt to be calming or peaceful (which are passive or internally-focused responses). Interestingly enough, these emotional reactions correspond with the physiological affects that colored light has on the body.

Beyond these major classifications, color attributions become varied and divergent across both cultures and individuals. For example, in Western culture, white is the traditional color for a wedding dress, whereas white is the color for mourning in China. There are many such discrepancies in the way people from different cultures think about particular colors. In addition to cultural feelings about color, people's perceptions of colors may also be affected by their ages, moods, life experiences, personalities, or mental health. People who share these characteristics, often share a common perception of colors.

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? You are most afraid of being unsafe

Have you ever noticed that you're more concerned about violence and your personal safety than many people around you are? Or do you sometimes worry more than you should about being victimized, attacked or losing control of your own temper? If so, you're not alone. There are many people who share your fear of being unsafe.

It can be a real strength to recognize your fears. By being aware of the things that frighten you, you can assess whether fear is helping you or negatively impacting your life. For instance, a fear of being unsafe may sometimes motivate you to take action in a positive way, like by being more street-smart and aware of your surroundings than others.

However, fear's negative aspects can sometimes be more damaging than you realize. Living with fear not only prevents you from living life to the fullest; it can also have a significant negative impact on your energy, health, and your close relationships if not kept in check.

Your anxiety can center on a fear of being harmed by strangers, being victimized by people around you, or even harming someone yourself. Whether you're afraid that you'll strike out at someone or that someone will strike out at you, it seems you're living with a sense that you are not in control of what happens.

Your fears can manifest in a variety of ways. You might have recurrent nightmares of being attacked. You may also constantly be on your guard in public, feeling wary of would-be muggers or kidnappers. You might even be afraid of the dark, scared to face what you imagine is lurking in the shadows. Have you ever worried about going into your basement alone, fearing who might be waiting for you? If you've ever shared these kinds of concerns with friends or family, they may have simply laughed them off or accused you of seeing too many horror movies. Any people in your life who've been insensitive probably don't understand how debilitating fear sometimes can be.

If your main fears surround your own actions rather than the possibility of being attacked, you probably find yourself scared by your own temper at times. If this is the case, you may feel afraid that an angry outburst will result in emotional damage to someone you love — or even violence. If you've shown violent tendencies in the past, consider seeking professional help or enrolling in an anger management seminar. This kind of assistance could ease your mind, as well as help you protect your loved ones.

In the meantime, your fear of being unsafe may provide some benefits to you, particularly if you were a crime victim or have past incidents of abuse to overcome. For one, it's good to be street smart and aware of your surroundings, especially when you're out at night or in a place that's unfamiliar to you. Also, it can be empowering to know that you're taking care of yourself and your possessions. For example, your fear of being attacked when you are alone at night may cause you to carry mace or pepper spray with you. Your fear may have also prompted you to take a self-defense course. These can both be positive things. If you worry about intruders at your home, you may have also protected yourself with a guard dog or a first-class alarm system. In each of these cases, it appears that fear functioned to help you shore up an area of your life where you feel vulnerable.

However, because your fear in this area appears to be large, there are times when its negative effects are likely to outweigh the positive ones. When you allow your fears to get out of control, they can overtake your sense of self and well-being. You may find yourself feeling powerless or becoming prone to panic. Over time, you may also start to feel tired or even depressed by the negative thoughts that drive you.

At its worst, a fear of being unsafe can leave you virtually paralyzed. If you fear being victimized, you may lie awake for countless hours listening for potential intruders. You can also worry so much about your safety when you're out and about that you forget to enjoy the world around you. In fact, you might begin to avoid going out at all. If your fears tend to focus on yourself and bad things you might do, doubts about yourself can cloud your whole personality and aspirations for the future. If any of these things are true for you, then you truly know it's time to take charge and learn to put fear at bay.

Fortunately, most people don't let their fears grow to these levels. Still, everyone can use advice on how to lessen fear's negative influence so that they can truly enjoy life.

In the graph below, you can examine your fear scores in relation to one another:

Your score on the being unsafe scale is 7. This scale measures your fear of being attacked, victimized, punished, or hurting someone else.

Your score on the moving forward scale is 6. This scale measures your fear of change, success, or personal commitment.

Your score on the not belonging scale is 6. This scale measures your fear of being an outcast, not being needed, or being unloved.

Your score on the not being good enough scale is 5. This scale measures your fear of not measuring up to your own standards, being a failure, or embarrassing yourself in front of other people.

Your score on the losing the basics scale is 4. This scale measures your fears of death and illness, losing your shelter, or compromising your sustenance.

Over time, almost everyone collects both fears and negative perceptions about themselves. Once these beliefs are formed, it's natural to seek out feelings and experiences that support these adverse emotions. That's what the cycle of fear is all about: experiencing a fear, reinforcing it, and experiencing the fear more. As a result, you may find that you work yourself up into anxious states or tune out evidence that would disprove your fears. You do these kinds of things so that you can remain consistent in your belief that you have something to be afraid of. It's because of this conditioning that you may have difficulty abandoning your anxieties in favor of your truer self.

When operating under the influence of fear, you're likely to engage in behaviors that serve to feed your anxiety. Excessive worry, negative self-talk, and visualizing disasters are all unproductive ways that you trick yourself into maintaining and enlarging your fears. For example, you may think that worrying about a fear you have will make you more prepared to face it. But in truth, worry only wastes your time and energy. It drags you down and can make you feel more hopeless.

Emode has examined your test results to identify the primary behavior that allows your fears to persist.

Based on your responses, the unproductive behavior you're most likely to engage in is excessive worry. When you're feeling anxious or afraid, you may find yourself spending the majority of your time thinking about all the awful things that could happen. By focusing your energies this way, you keep yourself from doing things that would be more useful — namely, taking positive action to change your situation for the better.

When your tendency for excessive worry is combined with your primary fear of being unsafe, you might find yourself obsessing about all of the possible threats to your security or self-control. Perhaps you find yourself dwelling on local news reports of violent crimes or constantly worrying about having an argument that would send your temper into orbit. Although you may feel like this thought pattern is very necessary to prepare you for the worst, in actuality it isn't. If you are faced with a situation in which you lose control or your personal sense of security is violated, you will react fully and immediately to the best of your ability. The human body is designed to do so. By increasing the faith in your ability to handle situations as they arise, you can find the freedom to stop excessive worry.

Break your cycle of fear
Once you're better able to recognize when you're acting out of fear, you can begin to halt fear's cycle. By taking positive, affirming actions instead of allowing anxiety to take over, you can begin to lessen fear's influence.